Friday, 30 November 2012
The recurring theme that I try to impart in my weekly missives is that you ultimately hold the power and the control in determining the quality of life you desire. Additionally, you must own every single thought and its subsequent emotional feeling as deriving from inside of you and not based upon outside events, people or situations that flow into your life. With this great creative power that you hold within you, did you realise that you can reinvent yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY?
This famous quote, whose earliest recording dates back as far as 1225, “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why it is called the present,” gives me the impetus to actually put a full stop in my events from the day before. Even though I have not yet perfected the art, as I am a continual work in progress, I start each day as brand new and fresh! I try not to hold on to any negativity that occurred the day before, be it a conflict with someone, or a situation that I disliked, and do everything that I can to leave it where it is and that is in the past!
Before, if I had an argument with my ex-husband or more recently my surly teenagers, I would fester that argument into the next day by holding onto the tense emotions within myself and prepare to go again for round two the following day! Now this became a habitual behaviour that I recognised I no longer wanted in my life and set about to change my mind set by understanding the above quote.
I realised that I used more of my precious energy by holding onto negativity and decided that I preferred to enjoy every day rather than to start a new one holding onto to thoughts or situations from the past.
Now, each morning I set an intention that I carry nothing negative forward from the day before and that I start each day as a wonderful adventure, that allows me to discover fantastic elements about myself with which I can work upon.
This is how truly powerful you are; so be open to the wondrous creation of life and learn to re-invent the fabulousness of you, because you are an exceptional work of art that need not waste another second upon your yesterdays.
Have an inspiring weekend!
Friday, 23 November 2012
It only takes a small shift in your perception to become a more optimistic person and increase the amount of joy in your life on a daily basis. If you were to review your days over the past week, analysing how many hours of the day you were genuinely happy, what kind of percentage would you come up with?
I set myself this very task, and can honestly say that 75% of my days are now filled with joy. Unfortunately, I would not have been able to make this statement a few months ago, because my days weighted very heavily upon me being very unhappy with only a few moments of happiness occurring throughout the day. Thus, I would have given myself a rough estimate of about 25% happy and the rest of the day spent in the doldrums.
I would look at the perceived negatives in my life, desperately hunting for a solution only to find myself mired deeper in a depression because I could not find one. All I did was attract more of the same feelings and found myself on a proverbial merry go round. The more I thought about it the more unhappy I became!
There were two key elements that helped me turn my happiness percentage so high, first I developed a high level of gratitude on a daily basis for everything that I had and secondly, my optimism! Once I took ownership that ALL my feelings were generated by the thoughts in my head, I made a conscious decision not to blame anyone or anything outside of myself as the cause of my misery.
I then asked myself two questions to everyone one of my worries, “what is the very worst that could happen and is it happening right now?” Usually the last part of the question would result in an emphatic answer of no because most, if not all, of the scenarios that I was concerned about, were created in my head and that is the key to unlocking your unhappiness! Get out of your head with your usual way of thinking because if your percentage is quite low (less than 50%) it is a clear sign that you are in need a new way of thinking!
Have a very thoughtful weekend.
Friday, 16 November 2012
Oftentimes, when you embark upon any sort of personal development, you become your own worst enemy. We can be very hard on ourselves when we unconsciously revert back to our old ways of dealing with challenging situations that arise. We berate ourselves for our negative responses, which in turn fuel the ego’s remonstrations of our “perceived failure.”
When I feel myself heading towards this train of thought, I literally start to mother myself, as if I were a small child with a scraped knee, seeking comfort from my own mother, who would embrace me lovingly and gently soothe my tears away. Therefore, I would give myself words of encouragement every time I exhibited behaviours that caused the current imbalance.
So just for today, I thought it would be lovely to send an encouragement your way, to help inspire you not to give up on your journey to enlightenment.
“You are a beautiful, kind, caring and considerate soul
who has the purpose of being a light to yourself and others,
as you negotiate through life’s trials and tribulations.
It’s okay to fall down sometimes
because that only adds to the beauty of the growth with which you are aspiring to.
All the lessons that you are learning,
both the highs and the lows,
are indeed a BLESSING from the Universe to help you on your way.
Be kind to yourself in your self-talk,
know that you are a perfect creation of life
and that you desire only to unite and harmonise with the world around you.
Your presence in this world is unique,
in that even though there is an invisible bond that connects each and every one of us together,
your own individual light is necessary to this world.
You are loved and lovable.
So shine as bright as the star you intend to be.
Know that when you fall down, you can and definitely do get up,
because that is how powerful love is
and you my friend ARE LOVE.”
As always, wishing you peace and love on this wondrous journey.
Friday, 9 November 2012
“Be the change you want to see in the world”
When I read this quote, it helps me to understand that the journey to self-mastery and growth, will be one that will always keep me occupied until I go back to my source and to me, this is exciting! Every minute of the day I am discovering new things to like and love about myself because I have decided that I am going to commit wholeheartedly to “be the change I wish to see in the world.” This means changing the way I think, act and respond towards people and situations in my life. More importantly, it is learning to love myself and others unconditionally.
Now, I would be lying if I said this is easy, it is not! This has to be one of the most challenging concepts that I am trying to master but it is also the most fulfilling in terms of what it allows me to experience, as I negotiate my way through the minefield of my own learned behaviours and habits.
Last week, I spoke about responsibility and one of the key elements in learning to love yourself unconditionally is to take full responsibility for everything that you say and do, especially when you interact with others. When you realise that YOU create the feelings of separateness from yourself and another person, you have no choice but to own the feelings that you create. To love oneself requires that you learn to choose feelings that uplift you rather than those that bring you down, plus you have to go to task on the internal work that is required to pinpoint the root cause of your unloving behaviours. This will allow you to recognise, that every interaction you have is an opportunity to commit further to your own self growth.
For example, your partner/friend decides to mock you in respect of one of your beliefs. You then become defensive and hurt that they have said such a thing and you respond by saying something equally hurtful. Now, this causes a separateness between you and the other person, both of you now view each other without love in that moment. Now, if you go back to the scenario, it was your defensiveness that created the separate feelings. Your ego used its power of recall from your own learned behaviours to create the emotion of defence and hurt; you then responded in a knee jerk fashion which ultimately made the situation worse. Conversely, you could have acknowledged to yourself that your initial response is a learned behaviour that will take you away from peace and serenity, secondly, you now give yourself time to recognise that you have no need to defend your beliefs to anyone and that they have every right to voice their opinion. You further recognise that it is the other persons learned behaviour that caused them to act that way and thus you do not have to take everything so personally. Thus, as a response to the comment you just smile and say nothing because you have now separated the behaviour from the person and can still have love for them, plus you have recognised that your own learned behaviour no longer serves you and you have now replaced it with a more loving response.
You can see by the above scenario, that the inner work that is required IS challenging , but it is also the most rewarding in that it allows you to achieve the goal of being more loving and nurturing to yourself as well as to others!
So I end today's word just as I began…..Be the change YOU want to see in the world!
Wishing you love and blessings for a wonderful weekend.
Friday, 2 November 2012
"You and only YOU are responsible for attracting people and situations into your life!"
As painful as this statement may seem too many, the fact remains that it is a truth. Sometimes things that could be construed as negative occur in our lives to teach us something about ourselves, as a wakeup call to make a correction to our thinking or to our reactions to them. Often times, out of any negative situation there is always a blessing of some sort hidden in the experience, which is always eventually revealed.
Now I can imagine that the above statement can be challenged in many ways in respect of the personal experiences people have had in their lives, which they would emphatically state that they did not attract such a negative experience into their existence. However, when you research what that statement means and actually peel away the emotional beliefs and programming's that have helped to shape and mould you, you WILL find the truth in that statement. Ultimately, you have to take responsibility for the "world" you have created. Moreover, if you are unhappy with your world, you also have the power and the creativity to change it by going straight to the root cause and that is your thoughts.
As an example, you have asked a friend to do something for you, which they said they would, however, at the last moment your friend lets you down and forgets to do it. You now have a myriad of emotions, annoyance that they have not done it, irritation at their obvious lack of caring for you and your feelings or even rejection that you feel they do not regard you highly enough to bother with your request. The first observation is that all of these thoughts and accompanied feelings have occurred in your head. Secondly, you have also created the emotive feelings that have ultimately disturbed your peace and joy. Why, because they did not conform to the standards and ideals that you have created in your world where you dictate how people are to react and to respond to you. Further, you have created this upset without even speaking to the person yet.
To take responsibility means it is imperative for you to explore your thought processes and recognise that YOU create the emotions. Once you recognise this fact, you can either choose to continue to be upset, thus destroying your serenity or you could see it as a teaching exercise and not take everything so personally; more importantly it gives you the opportunity to change a learned knee jerk reaction, to another thought process, which does not disturb your peace.
So this weekend, be a watcher of your thoughts and remember that you always have the power to make another choice!
Peace and blessings.